God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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