It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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