i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I supernannyed him into submission
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
