I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
