dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
