That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize