Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
