I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
