She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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