the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
