Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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