Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
