butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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