we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
birth control should be required to get into college
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
