But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
