Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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