I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
