I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
