Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
