WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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