Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
