So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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