I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
