scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
