Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
