Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize