Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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