redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
