I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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