he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
