So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
