YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think I just sharted jello shots
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
