I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
