it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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