Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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