Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
