He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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