The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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