I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize