a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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