well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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