i would punch a child for taco bell
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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