Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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