im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
