butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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