She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
