its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
