I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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