Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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