He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
