I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
third nipple confirmed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize