Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
