:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
