Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
