We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i need some magic done to my vagina
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
