oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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