fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
