chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize