we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
