I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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